Practicing children and family law – an inside view

By Andrew Weeden of McKenzieLawPartners.com

Guest Blogger

My case load is many and varied. Some matters are extremely complex and require surgical skills and dedication to navigate through the myriad of issues while other cases can be resolved without the need to issue court proceedings. There is never a dull moment doing my job and it inspires my passion and enthusiasm for the law and in particular, my specialisms in children and family matters with a strong emphasis on parental alienation and intractable contact disputes.

Unless there are quantifiable reasons not to such as allegations of domestic abuse, child abuse or where the matter is deemed ‘urgent’, parents and parties must generally attempt mediation first. The Ministry of Justice sees this as such an important and necessary step that there is a voucher scheme to help parties fund some or all of the costs. It is less an act of chivalry and all about applying gateway filters to prevent as many cases as possible reaching the extremely overwhelmed and broken family court system.

The most important role I perform in my job is managing my client’s expectations. This is vital. Forget what you think you know, unless you have been through child arrangements or divorce proceedings, you have little idea about how stressful and traumatic going to court can be. I have seen grown men curl up and cry; I have seen mothers who stand up to leave and pass out cold, requiring urgent medical support. If it is possible to avoid going to court, I implore you to take that option. Or at least try mediation or alternative dispute resolution (ADR) before you hire a lawyer.

It will save you potentially thousands of pounds in legal costs.

The success of family mediation depends upon two key ingredients – compromise and trust. The trust part is most important so ask yourself, irrespective of the causes of your relationship breakdown, do you trust your ex-partner to comply with any agreements you make in respect of your children or financial settlements. If you do, there is greater hope for a non-court resolution. Compromise is a bitter pill you might as well swallow now, because if your case does come before the courts, I can guarantee you that the eventual outcome will neither be everything you wanted, or your ex wanted.

The rule I apply is that you will more often come out with more favourable terms and outcomes, than if the family court imposes an outcome upon you. You only need to speak to any other party who has been through the court, and they will confirm that the end outcome was a blend of what both parties wanted – and more importantly, what was needed for the welfare and best interests of the children. Standing on ceremony and being precious about a desired outcome is not going to be your friend.

Family Mediation can take place at any stage, after all, it is a descriptive term for a series of negotiations. Ironically, some of the best mediation comes during the court process, once parties realise that it is in their best interests to narrow as many issues as possible. And let’s not forget that cases going through court take one to two years to complete. That is a lot of your life spent waiting in order that you, your ex and the children can finally move on with your lives.